Submit to One Another: Reflection on Ephesians 5.

This Sunday's epistle reading brings us to perhaps one of the most socially challenging scriptures to make sense of in our current paradigm - Ephesians 5:21-33:

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever
hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,
because we are members of his body.

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I was quite happy that the priest at Mass today decided to tackle this scripture, because it is indeed challenging. Not least because it is oft ripped out of context, misunderstood, and has undoubtedly been abused in the past to justify domestic tyranny.

It's a difficult passage, but only because we are ourselves difficult - we don't like to be told that we are to "be subordinate to," or "obey" anyone but ourselves. Taken further, the feminist movement / women's liberation ideology that has been so prominent in our cultural gender dialogue seems to bristle at the idea of women being anything less than identical to men in every regard, while this passage addresses men and women's obligations to each other quite differently.

It is an awkward contradiction that our culture at one moment embraces the differences between men and women (eg. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), then demands that we acknowledge no differences between them at all. Or perhaps that they are different, but we should act as if they aren't.

The Church does not believe this - it believes that humans both male and female are of equal dignity, but foundationally different qualities govern their roles: A male, his masculinity, and a female, her femininity. (see Mulieris Dignitatum)

The author of Ephesians speaks to this in his section about the structure of the household via analogy, illustrating for us the role of the husband (shown as Christ) as compared to the wife (the Church). Wives, as symbols of the Church, are to submit themselves, out of reverence and respect, to their husbands. Husbands, in turn, are to love and nourish and serve their wives in the manner in which Christ served and serves his Church. In this manner, there is mutual submission, the wife is subject to the leadership of her husband, who must love and care for his wife so deeply that he would offer up his life for her sake.

A friend of mine recently shared with me that Christ is subject to the Church in the Sacraments, because though we show physical signs, it is Christ that is the source of their grace, and ensures their efficacy. This is another example of the mutuality of submission that the epistle outlines.

My general thoughts this evening on this section of scripture have been that it is incredibly encouraging to men and women seeking holiness in marriage. A husband is given something incredibly lofty to strive for - love that is potent to the point of sacrifice - and is shown how, through Paul's analogy, his love will be a witness. Much is asked of the wife as well; obedience, especially in American society, is not something that is highly prized as a virtue. But in this she is shown how her submission can be a sign of the Church to others, and how the mutual submission of the husband and wife can illustrate the love and grace of God's salvific work in and through the Church.

The possibility of being a husband is incredibly exciting to me, in light of this passage: What a joy! What an honor to be so explicitly called to love someone in such a meaningful and symbolic way. My respect for the woman's femininity is also made greater by this passage, because there is a great deal asked of wives in their role, and that role is made more special by the fact that it is not identical to the husband's, it is something different, wholly reserved for her, and in that aspect, so very wondrous.

This passage, and those like it (in Peter, Titus, Colossians, Corinthians, Genesis...) could (and likely has, numerous times) inspire a book about Biblical gender roles and their relevance to modern culture, and there's a part of me that would really like to write more on this, refine what I've written... but there's another part that realizes it's time for bed.

Goodnight, Moon.